Post by hook on Jan 18, 2015 20:01:49 GMT -5
Narrator: This is the story of two friends. Mike Mondelli and Steven Von Erik. Steven lives in a neighborhood known as "rich.” Steven likes life, the only thing about life he would change if he could, is that he would set it all to music. Von Erik has more secrets than he does money. We're approaching Mike Mondelli’s side of the well...the locker room. Mondelli, too, likes life. Unfortunately, life doesn't seem to be too crazy about him. As you can see Mondelli doesn’t have nearly as much money as Von Erik. He does, however, have as many secrets. Our story begins early one morning in Wilkes Barre, PA. They are joined by would be usurper of the NAW “The Very Good” David Fraggle.
Fraggle stared at the Narrator before he turned to look at the man with a close crop haircuit and the bald man in front of him.
Fraggle: And he follows you everywhere, you say?
Von Erik: Doesn’t your narrator follow you all around?
Fraggle: I can’t say that I have a narrator.
Mondelli: Boober, I am pretty certain that you do have a narrator.
Fraggle: I...did you just call me Boober?
Von Erik: I told you that he was Gobo!
Fraggle: Am I having a stroke?
Mondelli: Boober, why did you call us here? On this bleak, March day.
Fraggle: It’s January.
Mondelli: By your calendar. I use the Gregorian Calendar.
Fraggle: So do I.
Von Erik: Mike Sanders, why did you call us here?
Fraggle: Ah yes, finally we...wait..did you just call me Mike Sanders?
Mondelli: Of course. Boober is clearly your real name and your ring name is Mike Sanders.
Fraggle: Why would you think I am Mike Sanders?
He paused.
Fraggle: Or Boober?
Von Erik: We’ve been talking it over. You have to be Mike Sanders. The Very Good? Above Average. Same thing.
Fraggle: I am not Mike Sanders!
Mondelli: Then why did you steal his gimmick?
Fraggle: I didn’t!
Von Erik winked at him.
Fraggle: Okay, I did want to meet with you all. I assume you saw the latest episode of the NAW?
Mondelli: Is that when Flair beat Morton?
Fraggle: That’s the NWA. And that was nearly thirty years ago.
Mondelli: Can’t be, I saw it last night on TV. The Wrestling Channel.
Fraggle: The WWE Network?
Mondelli: Yep!
Fraggle: Yeah, that was a re-run.
Mondelli: Oh. Was your show on the WWE Network?
Fraggle: No. No it wasn’t.
Mondelli: It’s okay, Boober! You’ll get there!
Von Erik: I saw it.
Fraggle: Then you both know that Mr. Bloom is coming back.
Mondelli: Things bloom in the Spring, that does make sense.
Von Erik: What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?
DING DING DING
IT’S PUN TIME!
Mondelli: An Australian went on walkabout and came upon a little town called Mercy. While in Mercy, he came upon a luncheonette, and asked the counter-person “Let’s have a Foster’s, mate.” The counter-man said “Oh, we don’t serve beer here. I’ll bring you some of our special blend of tea.” The explorer took a look at the tea, which had big brown clumps in it, and said “Yeech. What is this?” The counter-man said “it’s our special tea made from the meat of Koala bears.” Yes”, replied the man, “but why the big brown clumps? Shouldn’t the tea at least be strained?” “Ah”, said the counter-man, “The Koala-tea of Mercy is not strained.”
THIS CONCLUDES PUN TIME
The Black Tie Affair stared at Fraggle who seemed alarmed.
Fraggle: What was that?
Von Erik: It was Pun Time. Your turn. What does Bloom have to do with us?
Fraggle: We are looking to add to our ranks. People who join us will get great rewards.
Mondelli: Like Skittles?
Fraggle: Better than Skittles.
Mondelli: NOTHING is better than Skittles, Boober.
Von Erik: Where does Clyde fall on this whole Civil War thing?
Fraggle: Who is Clyde?
Von Erik: He is a lawyer who works for you.
Fraggle: There is no lawyer named Clyde that works for this company.
Mondelli: You don’t have Skittles and you don’t know Clyde? Do you even work for this company?
Von Erik: If he does, he’s bush league.
Mondelli: You tell Bloom that until he meets our demands, we’re not going to work with him.
Von Erik: Yeah, we’re on Team Clyde!
Mondelli: And Team Jacob!
Von Erik turned to look at Mondelli.
Von Erik: We haven’t read Twilight. We told Clyde that last week.
Mondelli: He seemed to be a fan. I wanted to be closer to him. So I read them.
Von Erik: Can I borrow those?
He paused and turned to Fraggle.
Von Erik: I don’t suppose you have a copy of Twilight on you, do you?
Fraggle: No. Why would I?
Von Erik: He is useless.
Mondelli: Super useless.
The Black Tie Affair exchanged glances.
Von Erik: Unless....
Mondelli: Boober, do you know where we can find the Super Awesome titles?
Fraggle: The what?
Von Erik: The Super Awesome titles. They are the single most prestigious titles in the entire history of the world.
Mondelli: Jesus held them. Twice.
Von Erik: Before and after Resurrection.
Fraggle: Never heard of them.
Von Erik: You tell Bloom we are not gonna play ball with him.
Mondelli: Well, I mean...Calvin Ball.
Von Erik: Well, yeah, Calvin Ball is a certainty. But not like basketball.
Mondelli: We can go bowling with him.
Von Erik: But that’s not really ball though.
Mondelli: True.
Von Erik: Our initial point is still true. We aren’t going to join your team.
Fraggle: You are making a powerful enemy today.
Mondelli: We do that on a regular basis.
Von Erik: Just last week we made an enemy out of a lich in Dungeons and Dragons.
Mondelli: And you aren’t near as scary as a lich. Not even a little bit, Boober.
Fraggle: You’ll pay for this. I promise you that. Bloom is not a man to be trifled with.
He left as the Black Tie Affair nodded smartly.
Narrator: Will Fraggle realize that the Black Tie Affair was making jokes about Fraggle Rock? Will the Black Tie Affair regret their decision? Will we learn more about the Super Awesome titles? Will we see their Dungeon and Dragons characters? Will we see Clyde again? Will they bother other people? Will they have their first match? Will they win their first match? Will Benson Care? These questions and many others will be answered on our next episode of Black Tie!
Fraggle stared at the Narrator before he turned to look at the man with a close crop haircuit and the bald man in front of him.
Fraggle: And he follows you everywhere, you say?
Von Erik: Doesn’t your narrator follow you all around?
Fraggle: I can’t say that I have a narrator.
Mondelli: Boober, I am pretty certain that you do have a narrator.
Fraggle: I...did you just call me Boober?
Von Erik: I told you that he was Gobo!
Fraggle: Am I having a stroke?
Mondelli: Boober, why did you call us here? On this bleak, March day.
Fraggle: It’s January.
Mondelli: By your calendar. I use the Gregorian Calendar.
Fraggle: So do I.
Von Erik: Mike Sanders, why did you call us here?
Fraggle: Ah yes, finally we...wait..did you just call me Mike Sanders?
Mondelli: Of course. Boober is clearly your real name and your ring name is Mike Sanders.
Fraggle: Why would you think I am Mike Sanders?
He paused.
Fraggle: Or Boober?
Von Erik: We’ve been talking it over. You have to be Mike Sanders. The Very Good? Above Average. Same thing.
Fraggle: I am not Mike Sanders!
Mondelli: Then why did you steal his gimmick?
Fraggle: I didn’t!
Von Erik winked at him.
Fraggle: Okay, I did want to meet with you all. I assume you saw the latest episode of the NAW?
Mondelli: Is that when Flair beat Morton?
Fraggle: That’s the NWA. And that was nearly thirty years ago.
Mondelli: Can’t be, I saw it last night on TV. The Wrestling Channel.
Fraggle: The WWE Network?
Mondelli: Yep!
Fraggle: Yeah, that was a re-run.
Mondelli: Oh. Was your show on the WWE Network?
Fraggle: No. No it wasn’t.
Mondelli: It’s okay, Boober! You’ll get there!
Von Erik: I saw it.
Fraggle: Then you both know that Mr. Bloom is coming back.
Mondelli: Things bloom in the Spring, that does make sense.
Von Erik: What does that have to do with the price of tea in China?
DING DING DING
IT’S PUN TIME!
Mondelli: An Australian went on walkabout and came upon a little town called Mercy. While in Mercy, he came upon a luncheonette, and asked the counter-person “Let’s have a Foster’s, mate.” The counter-man said “Oh, we don’t serve beer here. I’ll bring you some of our special blend of tea.” The explorer took a look at the tea, which had big brown clumps in it, and said “Yeech. What is this?” The counter-man said “it’s our special tea made from the meat of Koala bears.” Yes”, replied the man, “but why the big brown clumps? Shouldn’t the tea at least be strained?” “Ah”, said the counter-man, “The Koala-tea of Mercy is not strained.”
THIS CONCLUDES PUN TIME
The Black Tie Affair stared at Fraggle who seemed alarmed.
Fraggle: What was that?
Von Erik: It was Pun Time. Your turn. What does Bloom have to do with us?
Fraggle: We are looking to add to our ranks. People who join us will get great rewards.
Mondelli: Like Skittles?
Fraggle: Better than Skittles.
Mondelli: NOTHING is better than Skittles, Boober.
Von Erik: Where does Clyde fall on this whole Civil War thing?
Fraggle: Who is Clyde?
Von Erik: He is a lawyer who works for you.
Fraggle: There is no lawyer named Clyde that works for this company.
Mondelli: You don’t have Skittles and you don’t know Clyde? Do you even work for this company?
Von Erik: If he does, he’s bush league.
Mondelli: You tell Bloom that until he meets our demands, we’re not going to work with him.
Von Erik: Yeah, we’re on Team Clyde!
Mondelli: And Team Jacob!
Von Erik turned to look at Mondelli.
Von Erik: We haven’t read Twilight. We told Clyde that last week.
Mondelli: He seemed to be a fan. I wanted to be closer to him. So I read them.
Von Erik: Can I borrow those?
He paused and turned to Fraggle.
Von Erik: I don’t suppose you have a copy of Twilight on you, do you?
Fraggle: No. Why would I?
Von Erik: He is useless.
Mondelli: Super useless.
The Black Tie Affair exchanged glances.
Von Erik: Unless....
Mondelli: Boober, do you know where we can find the Super Awesome titles?
Fraggle: The what?
Von Erik: The Super Awesome titles. They are the single most prestigious titles in the entire history of the world.
Mondelli: Jesus held them. Twice.
Von Erik: Before and after Resurrection.
Fraggle: Never heard of them.
Von Erik: You tell Bloom we are not gonna play ball with him.
Mondelli: Well, I mean...Calvin Ball.
Von Erik: Well, yeah, Calvin Ball is a certainty. But not like basketball.
Mondelli: We can go bowling with him.
Von Erik: But that’s not really ball though.
Mondelli: True.
Von Erik: Our initial point is still true. We aren’t going to join your team.
Fraggle: You are making a powerful enemy today.
Mondelli: We do that on a regular basis.
Von Erik: Just last week we made an enemy out of a lich in Dungeons and Dragons.
Mondelli: And you aren’t near as scary as a lich. Not even a little bit, Boober.
Fraggle: You’ll pay for this. I promise you that. Bloom is not a man to be trifled with.
He left as the Black Tie Affair nodded smartly.
Narrator: Will Fraggle realize that the Black Tie Affair was making jokes about Fraggle Rock? Will the Black Tie Affair regret their decision? Will we learn more about the Super Awesome titles? Will we see their Dungeon and Dragons characters? Will we see Clyde again? Will they bother other people? Will they have their first match? Will they win their first match? Will Benson Care? These questions and many others will be answered on our next episode of Black Tie!