Post by Virgil Keenan on Jan 10, 2013 8:37:13 GMT -5
“You’re welcome.”
-Hard cut. Masked man sits introspectively, fingers interlocked. -
“The fuck is wrong with these people? 3 minutes into skimming and listening to promos I’m getting this guttural sickly feeling. Some guy thinks he’s a big shot actor, another fucker stands around with a head lock and face buster yelling innovation, another resorts to the diatribes of boredom and borderline torture, maybe if he just keeps talking someone will think he matters, most curiously is a woman who is single handily setting back women wrestlers, jumping all over the idea people think she can’t hang, y’know, when no one even fucking said anything. The hypocrisy, flailing, and a bar that has been set low I can’t help but find it fucking hilarious, hell the wrestling skill I’ve observed is even embarrassing. The biggest issue though is the intellectual plateau being showcased here, it’s fucking weighing me down with carcinogens.”
“The stupidity is giving me cancer.”
-Cough-
“So I say again, you’re welcome.”
-I smirk, flinging my hands open.-
“ So selfless, so altruistic, I get to be your alternative. I get to walk these halls, wrestle these matches, match wits, and perform lyrical genocide all over these twits. I debut in the North Atlantic, bringing with me the epitome, the golden standard of this new talent haul. I get to showcase and show off, educate, eradicate, and exterminate the low class of delusional nincompoops.”
-A small feigned bow-
“My opponent on the other hand, is an interesting development, he’s relatively unknown, hasn’t spoken, hasn’t wrestled a match here yet, hasn’t even debuted. The only information I have on this fagfuck is the mandatory North Atlantic profile pasted over the roster section. It’s there that I had to fight off some maaaad sweats bro.”
/sarcasm
“I imagine those who haven’t actually checked out the profile in question, are completely lost on the joke. Toshiro’s only claim to fame is an enhancement match. Don’t get me wrong, that’s fine, that’s dandy, that’s all rounded and applaud-able because we all start somewhere right? The only problem comes from trying to conceive of a plausible and intellectually sound argument in convincing us that you have a fucking chance in hell at winning.”
“Don’t get me wrong, you can do your best though, try your hardest, I expect you too, I hope you do…”
“It’ll be so fucking adorable.”
-A hearty laugh, repositioning myself in my seat, it’s been too long.-
“Aside of the natural occurrence that this man is simply new, which is forgivable, he’s horrifically and unbearably fucking egotistically delusional. Considering your lack luster portfolio, your position in the company, life, and career, you’d think you’d take comfort in being fucking humble. ”
-Unfold a sliver of paper, straight face, not that you could tell.-
“Now that he is in the US, Toshiro hopes to further his legacy as a legend apparent.”
-Over the shoulder toss-
“RIGHT! Okay, sure. Whatever. Fuck it, might as well go balls deep in this one fuckface. I’m not entirely sure what degree of English you have under your belt, so I’ll ignore you’re complete butchering of it, I’ll also speak slowly and annunciate so you can understand the preposterous claim that’s being made in your name. By the simple fact I don’t have a fucking clue who you are, that you debuted, by my hypothesis, within the year, immediately eliminates you from any legend status you purport to be. Farther more, to actually be legendary, you have to have accomplished something, archived something, have a bragging right, something solid. You, Tohiro, have on pure definition, a claim to ‘look’n pretty good in some match.’”
-Slow clap-
“Oh look, I can hear the trumpets now, management must be coming with your Hall of Fame Induction letter now. Tohiro looked good in a match, well don’t I just feel fucking silly.”
-sigh-
“To elaborate upon that, to try and further explain my irritation, lemme ask you this, what fucking legacy are you trying to perpetuate?”
“Being a fucking loser, enhancement talent, jobber?”
“Well Congrats Tohiro, round of applause, you m’boy get to do just that.”
“Word of advice though, when I shatter, manhandle, impale, and defile your virgin fucking face all over the canvas and when I bend, grapple, twist, and contort you with submissions, do your fucking best to make it interesting, at least wait a second before beating the mat, and keep the convulsing to a minimum. Y’know, keep your ‘legacy as a legend apparent.’ ”
-I shake my head in disgust, fighting the face palm through its cliché.-
“What we have is a man who fits so perfectly on this roster with these other clowns that it’s almost romantic. So to you Tohiro, I say, you’re welcome, Alex, you’re welcome, North Atlantic? You’re also welcome.”
“And I mean that with all the sincerity I possibly can”
“I want you all to thank me. More-so, I want you to wake up and smell the decaying stench of failure pervading the air. North Atlantic reeks of stagnation and complacency, so many people here are asleep at the wheel and simply coasting; going through the motions, oblivious to their ineptitude.”
“This isn't just a simple wake up call. This is a hostile takeover of the status quo.”
-Beat with purpose, achieve their respect, their fear.-
“People here are so incapable of raising themselves above water that they’re jerking themselves off in frustration. Gunner, the companies world champion, at the very best can be deemed as ‘passable.’ That’s not a compliment, that’s the vomit remains at North Atlantics best effort. What you all need is a revolution. Not one brought on with chairs, ladders, blood and violence. Not a revolution brought to fruition with chain wielding minions, a group under a banner, no.”
“This is a revolution of talent and charisma, of sizzle and impact.”
“This Is my Revolution.”
“I am Virgil Keenan.”
“You may now rejoice, Mother fuckers.”
-Palm the camera.-
-Hard cut. Masked man sits introspectively, fingers interlocked. -
“The fuck is wrong with these people? 3 minutes into skimming and listening to promos I’m getting this guttural sickly feeling. Some guy thinks he’s a big shot actor, another fucker stands around with a head lock and face buster yelling innovation, another resorts to the diatribes of boredom and borderline torture, maybe if he just keeps talking someone will think he matters, most curiously is a woman who is single handily setting back women wrestlers, jumping all over the idea people think she can’t hang, y’know, when no one even fucking said anything. The hypocrisy, flailing, and a bar that has been set low I can’t help but find it fucking hilarious, hell the wrestling skill I’ve observed is even embarrassing. The biggest issue though is the intellectual plateau being showcased here, it’s fucking weighing me down with carcinogens.”
“The stupidity is giving me cancer.”
-Cough-
“So I say again, you’re welcome.”
-I smirk, flinging my hands open.-
“ So selfless, so altruistic, I get to be your alternative. I get to walk these halls, wrestle these matches, match wits, and perform lyrical genocide all over these twits. I debut in the North Atlantic, bringing with me the epitome, the golden standard of this new talent haul. I get to showcase and show off, educate, eradicate, and exterminate the low class of delusional nincompoops.”
-A small feigned bow-
“My opponent on the other hand, is an interesting development, he’s relatively unknown, hasn’t spoken, hasn’t wrestled a match here yet, hasn’t even debuted. The only information I have on this fagfuck is the mandatory North Atlantic profile pasted over the roster section. It’s there that I had to fight off some maaaad sweats bro.”
/sarcasm
“I imagine those who haven’t actually checked out the profile in question, are completely lost on the joke. Toshiro’s only claim to fame is an enhancement match. Don’t get me wrong, that’s fine, that’s dandy, that’s all rounded and applaud-able because we all start somewhere right? The only problem comes from trying to conceive of a plausible and intellectually sound argument in convincing us that you have a fucking chance in hell at winning.”
“Don’t get me wrong, you can do your best though, try your hardest, I expect you too, I hope you do…”
“It’ll be so fucking adorable.”
-A hearty laugh, repositioning myself in my seat, it’s been too long.-
“Aside of the natural occurrence that this man is simply new, which is forgivable, he’s horrifically and unbearably fucking egotistically delusional. Considering your lack luster portfolio, your position in the company, life, and career, you’d think you’d take comfort in being fucking humble. ”
-Unfold a sliver of paper, straight face, not that you could tell.-
“Now that he is in the US, Toshiro hopes to further his legacy as a legend apparent.”
-Over the shoulder toss-
“RIGHT! Okay, sure. Whatever. Fuck it, might as well go balls deep in this one fuckface. I’m not entirely sure what degree of English you have under your belt, so I’ll ignore you’re complete butchering of it, I’ll also speak slowly and annunciate so you can understand the preposterous claim that’s being made in your name. By the simple fact I don’t have a fucking clue who you are, that you debuted, by my hypothesis, within the year, immediately eliminates you from any legend status you purport to be. Farther more, to actually be legendary, you have to have accomplished something, archived something, have a bragging right, something solid. You, Tohiro, have on pure definition, a claim to ‘look’n pretty good in some match.’”
-Slow clap-
“Oh look, I can hear the trumpets now, management must be coming with your Hall of Fame Induction letter now. Tohiro looked good in a match, well don’t I just feel fucking silly.”
-sigh-
“To elaborate upon that, to try and further explain my irritation, lemme ask you this, what fucking legacy are you trying to perpetuate?”
“Being a fucking loser, enhancement talent, jobber?”
“Well Congrats Tohiro, round of applause, you m’boy get to do just that.”
“Word of advice though, when I shatter, manhandle, impale, and defile your virgin fucking face all over the canvas and when I bend, grapple, twist, and contort you with submissions, do your fucking best to make it interesting, at least wait a second before beating the mat, and keep the convulsing to a minimum. Y’know, keep your ‘legacy as a legend apparent.’ ”
-I shake my head in disgust, fighting the face palm through its cliché.-
“What we have is a man who fits so perfectly on this roster with these other clowns that it’s almost romantic. So to you Tohiro, I say, you’re welcome, Alex, you’re welcome, North Atlantic? You’re also welcome.”
“And I mean that with all the sincerity I possibly can”
“I want you all to thank me. More-so, I want you to wake up and smell the decaying stench of failure pervading the air. North Atlantic reeks of stagnation and complacency, so many people here are asleep at the wheel and simply coasting; going through the motions, oblivious to their ineptitude.”
“This isn't just a simple wake up call. This is a hostile takeover of the status quo.”
-Beat with purpose, achieve their respect, their fear.-
“People here are so incapable of raising themselves above water that they’re jerking themselves off in frustration. Gunner, the companies world champion, at the very best can be deemed as ‘passable.’ That’s not a compliment, that’s the vomit remains at North Atlantics best effort. What you all need is a revolution. Not one brought on with chairs, ladders, blood and violence. Not a revolution brought to fruition with chain wielding minions, a group under a banner, no.”
“This is a revolution of talent and charisma, of sizzle and impact.”
“This Is my Revolution.”
“I am Virgil Keenan.”
“You may now rejoice, Mother fuckers.”
-Palm the camera.-