Post by Dave on Sept 18, 2012 14:08:16 GMT -5
"A vegetable salad.
VEGETABLE.
SALAD.
I hate these two words standing alone and I friggin' hate them when they're together!"
"So... what you want me to do, mister...?"
"TUCKER is the name, wanker, John Tucker, the Overweight Champion of the World! And I want you to take this healthy garbage out and bring me hamburgers! I think six burgers could do the trick... yeah, and fries! Don't forget them fries!"
He chased the WBSW worker away and sat down in his locker room. He turned on his voice recorder.
"Diary of the World Overweight Champion, day one. This place is a bag of wank. They tried to feed me with salad. You get it? A salad, full of tomatoes and shit. Some would say that's hilarious but... I CAN'T SEE ANYONE FUCKIN' SMILING!"
He burped. Then again, even louder and laughed a bit in satisfaction with the sound of the burp. He scratched his ass and continued.
"I sent the wanker for some burgers, but I still have to think about this one thing. They told me about a guy my opening match is against. A guy who dresses, hold your laughter... as and owl. When I said if they have some more info about him, I was told 'Yeah... he's that fat guy we signed few days before you'.
So basically, I got a owl costume wearing wanker who thinks he can steal my spotlight? Allow me to tell you that the Overweight Champion of the World WILL be the best fatso in WBSW, doesn't matter if I have to gain a hundred pounds OR even put my title on the line! The wanker's gonna learn how the Fat Fucker rolls."
WBSW worker came back in, carrying six burgers and bucket full of fries.
"Finally, wanker!... holy mother of fat fuckers, those fries are awful! They're cold as dog poo!"
"My name is Johnatan, not 'wanker', sir... but I'm sorry, that guy in the fast food restaurant took an awfully long time to do the fries... I think he was called Wally..."
VEGETABLE.
SALAD.
I hate these two words standing alone and I friggin' hate them when they're together!"
"So... what you want me to do, mister...?"
"TUCKER is the name, wanker, John Tucker, the Overweight Champion of the World! And I want you to take this healthy garbage out and bring me hamburgers! I think six burgers could do the trick... yeah, and fries! Don't forget them fries!"
He chased the WBSW worker away and sat down in his locker room. He turned on his voice recorder.
"Diary of the World Overweight Champion, day one. This place is a bag of wank. They tried to feed me with salad. You get it? A salad, full of tomatoes and shit. Some would say that's hilarious but... I CAN'T SEE ANYONE FUCKIN' SMILING!"
He burped. Then again, even louder and laughed a bit in satisfaction with the sound of the burp. He scratched his ass and continued.
"I sent the wanker for some burgers, but I still have to think about this one thing. They told me about a guy my opening match is against. A guy who dresses, hold your laughter... as and owl. When I said if they have some more info about him, I was told 'Yeah... he's that fat guy we signed few days before you'.
So basically, I got a owl costume wearing wanker who thinks he can steal my spotlight? Allow me to tell you that the Overweight Champion of the World WILL be the best fatso in WBSW, doesn't matter if I have to gain a hundred pounds OR even put my title on the line! The wanker's gonna learn how the Fat Fucker rolls."
WBSW worker came back in, carrying six burgers and bucket full of fries.
"Finally, wanker!... holy mother of fat fuckers, those fries are awful! They're cold as dog poo!"
"My name is Johnatan, not 'wanker', sir... but I'm sorry, that guy in the fast food restaurant took an awfully long time to do the fries... I think he was called Wally..."