Post by bdc on Sept 25, 2012 0:16:41 GMT -5
The Patriot: …and remember, don’t text while you drive because whatever it is…
The masked, star spangled hero points and gives a heavy emphasis.
The Patriot: IT CAN WAIT!
Standing next to The Patriot is his best friend and sidekick, John Mercy in his ring duds.
John Mercy: AND NOW YOU KNOW!
The Patriot: AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE!
Both Mercy and The Patriot point and stand there uncomfortablely long.
Suddenly, a voice from out of nowhere: OK, CUT!
Suddenly, Mercy and The Patriot relax as people suddenly appear out of all over.
A small, bald man walks up with a cheap suit and sunglasses on: That was awesome baby! Pure gold! Made me wanna throw my cell phone away, honest ta GOD!
The Patriot stiffens up and scolds the man: GOD is not a curse word, my friend! Show some respect!
The man looks suddenly confused: Oh, ok, whatever, baby! Listen, I think we got all we need here, my friend! Thanks again for your help!
Mercy steps in and points at the weaselly looking man: You just make sure that check gets to the Wounded Warriors Foundation, just like we agreed to, got it, JACK?
The fat, little man begins to do his song and dance: Hey! No worries, right? Just like we agreed to, sheesh!
As the man walks away shaking his head, The Patriot decides to use this as a teaching moment.
The Patriot: Now, John, weren’t you a little rough on the director there? I mean, we signed a contract. He’s legally bound to make sure we get compensated.
John Mercy: I know. Just, ever since that dude from LA screwed us over in that movie deal, I don’t know…
The Patriot: Come on, JOHN, choice of words there, buddy! Now, you know good and well we got our pay and nice check for the Veterans Disability Association to boot in that class action suit! Good ole American Justice prevailed!
A man in an expensive suit runs up: Yeah, and it’ll be a cold day in…
The Patriot: gives the man a stern look.
The suit: in you know where before he tries that again. Hey! My favorite clients! How’s the flag wavin’ and PSAs goin’ for ya?
The Patriot calms down: Not too bad, Manny. You have another adventure me and Mercy?
Manny, obviously their agent: Well, now that ya mention it, I do. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before! You two are going back to what you do best! PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING!
John Mercy jumps and fist pumps: YEAH! About time!!! Gonna go for some gold, man!!
But The Patriotdoesn’t seem as sold: I don’t know Manny. I know it’s been a few years, but you remember the last match we had…I just don’t want a repeat…
Manny: Hey, trust me! No way ANYTHING like that could EVER happen again! It’s all good! But you two need a platform to spread your message of good clean American living and Patriotism, right?
The Patriot, still looking a bit worried: Well, of course…
Manny slaps his hands together: Then, it’s settled. We’re gonna start small and work up to the big leagues, right?! (He hands the two of them a folder) Here ya go.
The Patriot: What is this?
Manny: Everything you need to know about WBSW and your first opponents. Also, your plane tickets…
The Patriot , looking it over: Wha? Flying commercial?
John Mercy is jumping like a Mexican jumping bean: Oh, YEAH!!!
The Patriot: Oh, no. We’re not flying anything but military issue, my friend. We travel with the proud service men of this country or walk!!
John Mercy suddenly slows his bouncing to a stop: WHAT? Come on!!! This is FIRST CLASS, MAN!!!!
The Patriot tears his plane ticket up: I told you a long time ago, John. I will not lounge it up in FIRST CLASS while our fighting men are putting their lives on the line every day to keep us FREE! It’s the principal of the thing!
John looks like a little boy who just realized he wasn’t getting his way, but knew it was the right thing to do.
John: Oh….ok…you’re right…
And, with that, he tears his plane ticket up also.
Manny: Suit yourself. (He pulls his ticket out of his suit pocket) I’ll see you two there. Have fun.
As Manny walks off, John looks off after him longingly.
The Patriot puts his arms on his waist: Don’t worry, John. You’ve made the right decision. And you know what I always say!
John looks over at him like he really doesn’t want to hear it right now.
The Patriot: If you make the right decision, you CAN’T GO WRONG!! Now, let’s go.
AsThe Patriot exits, John just repeats: YEAH, BUT FIRST CLASS!!
The masked, star spangled hero points and gives a heavy emphasis.
The Patriot: IT CAN WAIT!
Standing next to The Patriot is his best friend and sidekick, John Mercy in his ring duds.
John Mercy: AND NOW YOU KNOW!
The Patriot: AND KNOWING IS HALF THE BATTLE!
Both Mercy and The Patriot point and stand there uncomfortablely long.
Suddenly, a voice from out of nowhere: OK, CUT!
Suddenly, Mercy and The Patriot relax as people suddenly appear out of all over.
A small, bald man walks up with a cheap suit and sunglasses on: That was awesome baby! Pure gold! Made me wanna throw my cell phone away, honest ta GOD!
The Patriot stiffens up and scolds the man: GOD is not a curse word, my friend! Show some respect!
The man looks suddenly confused: Oh, ok, whatever, baby! Listen, I think we got all we need here, my friend! Thanks again for your help!
Mercy steps in and points at the weaselly looking man: You just make sure that check gets to the Wounded Warriors Foundation, just like we agreed to, got it, JACK?
The fat, little man begins to do his song and dance: Hey! No worries, right? Just like we agreed to, sheesh!
As the man walks away shaking his head, The Patriot decides to use this as a teaching moment.
The Patriot: Now, John, weren’t you a little rough on the director there? I mean, we signed a contract. He’s legally bound to make sure we get compensated.
John Mercy: I know. Just, ever since that dude from LA screwed us over in that movie deal, I don’t know…
The Patriot: Come on, JOHN, choice of words there, buddy! Now, you know good and well we got our pay and nice check for the Veterans Disability Association to boot in that class action suit! Good ole American Justice prevailed!
A man in an expensive suit runs up: Yeah, and it’ll be a cold day in…
The Patriot: gives the man a stern look.
The suit: in you know where before he tries that again. Hey! My favorite clients! How’s the flag wavin’ and PSAs goin’ for ya?
The Patriot calms down: Not too bad, Manny. You have another adventure me and Mercy?
Manny, obviously their agent: Well, now that ya mention it, I do. I don’t know why I didn’t think of this before! You two are going back to what you do best! PROFESSIONAL WRESTLING!
John Mercy jumps and fist pumps: YEAH! About time!!! Gonna go for some gold, man!!
But The Patriotdoesn’t seem as sold: I don’t know Manny. I know it’s been a few years, but you remember the last match we had…I just don’t want a repeat…
Manny: Hey, trust me! No way ANYTHING like that could EVER happen again! It’s all good! But you two need a platform to spread your message of good clean American living and Patriotism, right?
The Patriot, still looking a bit worried: Well, of course…
Manny slaps his hands together: Then, it’s settled. We’re gonna start small and work up to the big leagues, right?! (He hands the two of them a folder) Here ya go.
The Patriot: What is this?
Manny: Everything you need to know about WBSW and your first opponents. Also, your plane tickets…
The Patriot , looking it over: Wha? Flying commercial?
John Mercy is jumping like a Mexican jumping bean: Oh, YEAH!!!
The Patriot: Oh, no. We’re not flying anything but military issue, my friend. We travel with the proud service men of this country or walk!!
John Mercy suddenly slows his bouncing to a stop: WHAT? Come on!!! This is FIRST CLASS, MAN!!!!
The Patriot tears his plane ticket up: I told you a long time ago, John. I will not lounge it up in FIRST CLASS while our fighting men are putting their lives on the line every day to keep us FREE! It’s the principal of the thing!
John looks like a little boy who just realized he wasn’t getting his way, but knew it was the right thing to do.
John: Oh….ok…you’re right…
And, with that, he tears his plane ticket up also.
Manny: Suit yourself. (He pulls his ticket out of his suit pocket) I’ll see you two there. Have fun.
As Manny walks off, John looks off after him longingly.
The Patriot puts his arms on his waist: Don’t worry, John. You’ve made the right decision. And you know what I always say!
John looks over at him like he really doesn’t want to hear it right now.
The Patriot: If you make the right decision, you CAN’T GO WRONG!! Now, let’s go.
AsThe Patriot exits, John just repeats: YEAH, BUT FIRST CLASS!!