Post by Gurgen Hovhanissian on Jun 8, 2016 1:44:45 GMT -5
The screen opens to some tremendously interesting lichen covered rocks. Oh, look, there’s a tiny crab doing that sideways tango thing they like to do. A mouse jumps into the shot. Hey, it’s Bottlecap. And look, he’s wearing a cute little horned helmet. You know, the sort Vikings didn’t actually wear but somehow got attributed by romantic painters. Bottlecap grabs the crab. He chews on it a bit but doesn’t like the texture and spits it back out. The crab continues on its merry way. Bottlecap turns around and scurries up some rocks. The camera follows him. Just as Bottlecap disappears from view, we see that he found himself a boot to climb on.
The camera keeps, slowly, panning up. It’s not Gurgen’s boot. It’s a black leather boot. With leather straps for laces. Panning further up, we see the underside of an inverted sheepskin pair of pants. The wool is spilling out from the bottom of the trouser leg. It’s only partially mud encrusted.
Up and up we travel, the camera zooms out at about the knee. The crotch is a flap folded up and held in place with two wooden toggles. The torso proves to be protected from the elements by a padded gambeson, brightly colored red, no doubt with whale’s blood. At about the midriff, a bushy beard comes into view and the camera zooms out a little more. Soon we see that, uncharacteristic boots notwithstanding, it IS The … erm … Nordic? … Beast after all. Some brave soul has undertaken the arduous task of corralling the Beastly hair into braids. They come down to where presumably his chin would be, underneath that massive beard.
Unlike Bottlecap, Beast is actually wearing a period accurate helmet that partially covers the upper part of his face. Now that he’s in full view, Beast brings the short stabbing sword he’s holding in his right hand in front of his chest.
“Asger Ahlberg,” The Nordic Beast calls out, “welcome to Viking land!”
The camera zooms out further, exposing indomitable fjords behind The Beast. Whoever in currently managing Beasty’s audio-visual productions, they really splurged on this one … or Gurgen’s standing in front of a green screen again.
“Asger Ahlberg see,” Beast continues, “Beast be Viking too. There be little bit of Beast in all peoples and all peoples be in Beast. And, Asger Ahlberg know there be plenty of Beast in Vikings!”
Beast looks up and to the side of him. The camera pans in that direction and we see that he’s been standing, not at the top of a fjord’s cliffs, but only half way up.
Beast pops his head back into the shot. “Now,” he states, “Beast show Asger Ahlberg what Beast do with Vikings.”
He screams a thunderous war cry which sounds suspiciously Armenian, rather than Norwegian.
He takes two steps towards the rocky incline next to him but stops there. He glances at his sword. Shrugs and tosses it aside, saying, “Beast no need razor.”
Bare fisted, and considering the amount of hair on his paws, bear fisted, he charges up the hill. Higher up, we see a number of Vikings guarding the high ground.
Upon seeing The Nordic Beast approach, they for a shield wall.
Beast smashes through their defenses with ease. Those who still have some fight in them quickly fall under the Beastly blows. Either his handler hired a whole load of extras or some reenactors just got the biggest surprise of their roleplaying career. Actually, knowing the restraint The Beast usually shows, it’s highly likely people got injured in either case.
Onward and upward The Beast goes. He encounters a new cluster of Vikings, these too spread out to form a wall. Beast catches a war hammer blow with the leather brace on his arm. A quick kick to the reproductive organs sends the opposing warrior to the ground. He dropkicks a second man who was about to cleave his head with a sword and helmetbutts a third. The clash between the two steel reinforced crania reverberates throughout the fjord.
The microphone begins to pick up more and more wind. In the background, we see storm clouds gathering. Either they really did travel to Norway, or this is one hell of a soundstage. Either way, much, if not all of Gurgen’s victor’s purse must have gone in to the production of this promo.
Flattening one Viking after another, Beast advances until he reaches a plateau. Here, a veritable giant is waiting for him. He looks a bit like the guy who plays Gregor Clegane in Game of Thrones. Then again, all these giant Icelanders who partake in strongman competitions look alike, don’t they? As we get a good full body shot of the monster, a lightning bolt behind him lights up the scene. Only now do we notice how dark it has gotten under these heavy clouds full of …
Rain begins to fall. Great, big drops crash down all around, almost instantly turning the ground into a mud pool.
The voluminous Viking takes a step towards Beast. Beast turns around and runs back to the edge of the plateau. The monstrous mauler gives chase. Beast seems stuck in the mud, he barely makes any headway. Just as the Viking has almost reached him, Beast spins around and ducks in one fluid movement. He punches the big man in the knee. An old Viking trick.
No matter how big you are … when they hit you in the knee, you go down. Beast tries to run past the man, but he seizes the Beastly ankle.
The two men roll around in the mud, trading blows and chokeholds, until Beast manages to slap his beard, wet and heavy from the mud, into the Viking’s. Soon after, the Viking runs out of air. Beast releases him and resumes his ascent.
The will to oppose The Nordic Beast seems to have abandoned people. In an ever increasing downpour, Beast runs, stumbles, crawls and claws at the dirt and rocks. He reaches the top of the fjord. He raises both arms skyward. A thunderbolt illuminates the sky.
He screams. Among the echo of the thunderclap we can’t quite make out what he’s shouting.
He repeats his scream a few times, the camera ever getting closer. Eventually, there’s enough of a lapse in the storm for us to realize our efforts at understanding The Beast have been in vain all along. He’s screaming his native Armenian … cause that makes sense, Vikings screaming Armenian … The subtitles show up a bit late.
“I am the Beast, fear me!”
The entirety of the climb and the combat and the verbal calamity has exhausted Beast. He crashes to his knees, then he flops back first into the accumulated mud. Part of the muddy splatter taints the camera. The white of Gurgen’s eyes makes a stark contrast with the mud smeared rest of his face, and really, his entire body.
He’s laughing heartily. He makes an effort to clear his face somewhat of the mud but his hands are possibly even dirtier than his face so he only manages to make interesting rake marks on his mud mask.
Switching back to English, cause that makes sense, Vikings speaking English, he howls, “Beast get it, Asger Ahlberg know. Beast get why Asger Ahlberg wanna be Viking. There be no bad thoughts. There be no judging. Only heart make poundings. And enemies be left in mud.”
Upon expressing the word ‘mud’ he grabs two good handfuls of the stuff and holds it.
“That be why Beast join Asger Ahlberg in north lands. Asger Ahlberg and Beast fight like Vikings. Asger Ahlberg and Beast make good fightings. What more can peoples wish for?”
He looks at the goo in his paws. “MUD!” he shouts, a big smile on his mess of a face. And he smears the camera lens with it.
As the last bit of light yet filtering through the layer of mud fades to black, we hear Gurgen laugh again. He is one happy Viking.
The camera keeps, slowly, panning up. It’s not Gurgen’s boot. It’s a black leather boot. With leather straps for laces. Panning further up, we see the underside of an inverted sheepskin pair of pants. The wool is spilling out from the bottom of the trouser leg. It’s only partially mud encrusted.
Up and up we travel, the camera zooms out at about the knee. The crotch is a flap folded up and held in place with two wooden toggles. The torso proves to be protected from the elements by a padded gambeson, brightly colored red, no doubt with whale’s blood. At about the midriff, a bushy beard comes into view and the camera zooms out a little more. Soon we see that, uncharacteristic boots notwithstanding, it IS The … erm … Nordic? … Beast after all. Some brave soul has undertaken the arduous task of corralling the Beastly hair into braids. They come down to where presumably his chin would be, underneath that massive beard.
Unlike Bottlecap, Beast is actually wearing a period accurate helmet that partially covers the upper part of his face. Now that he’s in full view, Beast brings the short stabbing sword he’s holding in his right hand in front of his chest.
“Asger Ahlberg,” The Nordic Beast calls out, “welcome to Viking land!”
The camera zooms out further, exposing indomitable fjords behind The Beast. Whoever in currently managing Beasty’s audio-visual productions, they really splurged on this one … or Gurgen’s standing in front of a green screen again.
“Asger Ahlberg see,” Beast continues, “Beast be Viking too. There be little bit of Beast in all peoples and all peoples be in Beast. And, Asger Ahlberg know there be plenty of Beast in Vikings!”
Beast looks up and to the side of him. The camera pans in that direction and we see that he’s been standing, not at the top of a fjord’s cliffs, but only half way up.
Beast pops his head back into the shot. “Now,” he states, “Beast show Asger Ahlberg what Beast do with Vikings.”
He screams a thunderous war cry which sounds suspiciously Armenian, rather than Norwegian.
He takes two steps towards the rocky incline next to him but stops there. He glances at his sword. Shrugs and tosses it aside, saying, “Beast no need razor.”
Bare fisted, and considering the amount of hair on his paws, bear fisted, he charges up the hill. Higher up, we see a number of Vikings guarding the high ground.
Upon seeing The Nordic Beast approach, they for a shield wall.
Beast smashes through their defenses with ease. Those who still have some fight in them quickly fall under the Beastly blows. Either his handler hired a whole load of extras or some reenactors just got the biggest surprise of their roleplaying career. Actually, knowing the restraint The Beast usually shows, it’s highly likely people got injured in either case.
Onward and upward The Beast goes. He encounters a new cluster of Vikings, these too spread out to form a wall. Beast catches a war hammer blow with the leather brace on his arm. A quick kick to the reproductive organs sends the opposing warrior to the ground. He dropkicks a second man who was about to cleave his head with a sword and helmetbutts a third. The clash between the two steel reinforced crania reverberates throughout the fjord.
The microphone begins to pick up more and more wind. In the background, we see storm clouds gathering. Either they really did travel to Norway, or this is one hell of a soundstage. Either way, much, if not all of Gurgen’s victor’s purse must have gone in to the production of this promo.
Flattening one Viking after another, Beast advances until he reaches a plateau. Here, a veritable giant is waiting for him. He looks a bit like the guy who plays Gregor Clegane in Game of Thrones. Then again, all these giant Icelanders who partake in strongman competitions look alike, don’t they? As we get a good full body shot of the monster, a lightning bolt behind him lights up the scene. Only now do we notice how dark it has gotten under these heavy clouds full of …
Rain begins to fall. Great, big drops crash down all around, almost instantly turning the ground into a mud pool.
The voluminous Viking takes a step towards Beast. Beast turns around and runs back to the edge of the plateau. The monstrous mauler gives chase. Beast seems stuck in the mud, he barely makes any headway. Just as the Viking has almost reached him, Beast spins around and ducks in one fluid movement. He punches the big man in the knee. An old Viking trick.
No matter how big you are … when they hit you in the knee, you go down. Beast tries to run past the man, but he seizes the Beastly ankle.
The two men roll around in the mud, trading blows and chokeholds, until Beast manages to slap his beard, wet and heavy from the mud, into the Viking’s. Soon after, the Viking runs out of air. Beast releases him and resumes his ascent.
The will to oppose The Nordic Beast seems to have abandoned people. In an ever increasing downpour, Beast runs, stumbles, crawls and claws at the dirt and rocks. He reaches the top of the fjord. He raises both arms skyward. A thunderbolt illuminates the sky.
He screams. Among the echo of the thunderclap we can’t quite make out what he’s shouting.
He repeats his scream a few times, the camera ever getting closer. Eventually, there’s enough of a lapse in the storm for us to realize our efforts at understanding The Beast have been in vain all along. He’s screaming his native Armenian … cause that makes sense, Vikings screaming Armenian … The subtitles show up a bit late.
“I am the Beast, fear me!”
The entirety of the climb and the combat and the verbal calamity has exhausted Beast. He crashes to his knees, then he flops back first into the accumulated mud. Part of the muddy splatter taints the camera. The white of Gurgen’s eyes makes a stark contrast with the mud smeared rest of his face, and really, his entire body.
He’s laughing heartily. He makes an effort to clear his face somewhat of the mud but his hands are possibly even dirtier than his face so he only manages to make interesting rake marks on his mud mask.
Switching back to English, cause that makes sense, Vikings speaking English, he howls, “Beast get it, Asger Ahlberg know. Beast get why Asger Ahlberg wanna be Viking. There be no bad thoughts. There be no judging. Only heart make poundings. And enemies be left in mud.”
Upon expressing the word ‘mud’ he grabs two good handfuls of the stuff and holds it.
“That be why Beast join Asger Ahlberg in north lands. Asger Ahlberg and Beast fight like Vikings. Asger Ahlberg and Beast make good fightings. What more can peoples wish for?”
He looks at the goo in his paws. “MUD!” he shouts, a big smile on his mess of a face. And he smears the camera lens with it.
As the last bit of light yet filtering through the layer of mud fades to black, we hear Gurgen laugh again. He is one happy Viking.