Post by Virgil Keenan on Jan 30, 2013 22:01:06 GMT -5
'Rejoice' is the first thing we are hit with, not the verbal exclamation our antagonist usual bellows, but the word. The word is bolded red, dressed in confetti, and pasted cunningly and amusingly across a banner that hangs between two wooden pillars. The Camera pulls out, the parody set up becomes a little bit too much as there is a small wooden stage and a podium planted dead center in front of it. The obvious mockery promo becomes more evident as Virgil Keenan slowly walks onto the stage, dressed handsomely in some thrift store suit, patched and ripped. The mask, as always, is dawned proudly. The cheeky bastard.
"What an invoking question Hulu, have I ever 'heard' of the term impressive used to define the Black Plague? Short answer, no, I guess I haven't, well, not personally. I also haven't 'heard' someone say the great wall of china referred to as a buncha' rock or The CN Tower as a concrete construction of man."
"But hey, if you wanna argue semantics, I suggest you take the time to, uhh, well, stick it up your ass, If you don't mind that is. Otherwise, if you have intentions of saying something relevant, I'll be right here in obscene possibility that you'll utter something with substance."
-I lean on the podium, oozing a sense of complacency-
"However, to humor you, 'Impressive' Is a term used to define something awe-inspiring, remarkable, or to use a more blunt definition, something leaving an 'impression.' The Black Plague, by pure fact you use it to humorously define yourself while trying to implant some sort of eerie tone through something else's credit than your own actual fucking work, obviously means it left an impression, right? Perhaps, if I were to be so bold as to use a synonym for the general thought, I might want to coin the ever so original phrase that the Black Plague was 'Impressive.'"
"Ugh.... Fucking dumbass."
-I strike a irritated and irked pose, shaking my head at the prospect of having to elaborate on this. I continue regardless.-
" I think you'll find, kind sir, that if we are to go back those many moons, the impression left behind by your 'Black plague,' was neither awe-inspiring, nor remarkable, IN FACT, I'd dare to gamble that it failed to even leave an 'impression.' Not the type to simply state it, I'll ask you why that is Hulu. Why was your debut dismal? Maybe, just maybe, and please try to stick with me here and tell me if this sounds familiar, it's because you managed to defeat a man who is worse, but only slightly, than a concession stand worker.'"
-Shrug-
" Through your ineptitude, your failing intellect, and your inability to grasp onto a solid argument, you decided to break down, not me, not my skill, not my ability, but the ability of those who I utterly decimated. Perhaps in one of your many momentary mental flubs you just happened to forget one of those men you shat on, was the man YOU beat. Don't get me wrong, your statement doesn't have a flaw, because if you can beat him, there is no defense I could ever muster for his skill, but perhaps it was not in your best interest to refer to the only accomplishment you had last week, as a pathetic weak morsel of a wrestler. It just isn't consistent, it's not ideal, or even fucking smart to start claiming your 'reign of terror' by the name 'Black Plague' if you're going to debut it in THAT manner. "
"Good Job selling your potential future infectious domination jackass."
-/sarcasm-
"Me on the other hand? I removed 4 different men from this roster, and if we took a gander, a listen, we would find me referring to those men as garbage, trash, and useless this last Meltdown. That is, after all, why I targeted them. I did so, not to defame or bury my revolution as you've done yours, I did it as an offering. I showcased and displayed positive change, the removal of those not worthy to wrestle in the same ring as me. But hey, if you want be a redundant echo of me, telling these people how those men sucked, then go on ahead."
"I'm a natural born Leader after all. A bred Champion. A pure wrestler. It's understandable you'd want to be like me."
"Whoops, there goes my politicking again."
-A greasy smirk writhes its way up my face.-
"I digress, the point I made before, and I'll make again, is this idea you have where you think you can go around with empty threats. See, you can talk, and you can talk, and you can make promises, you can tell everyone around here what you are, what your capable of, you can fly your campaign slogan of "Black Plague" on every promotional video, every entrance theme, every interview, and nestle it into every catchphrase, but at the end of the fucking day man, all you've given us as a god damn IOU for relevancy."
"What makes you think I'm going to let you get away with that?"
"That's not good enough, it's not what the people deserve, not what management needs, not what this industry requires. You can stand there and keep telling us something is going to happen all you want, go right ahead. Keep lying to us, keep talking about meaningless things, building a platform underneath you for attention."
"Keep giving us those campaign promises."
-Wink-
"And as you do that, keep falling back on your safety net, when people start asking where, where is it, when will it be? Keep telling them it's not a race, that all things come in time. Tell them that you're a slow moving infection, boring us with the anticipation of the inevitability. No, please, Hulu take your time, I know it's hard to actually DO something, why do it today when you can do it tomorrow? Don't strain yourself. I understand the burden of being interesting, the heavy load of spectacle. Rest your weary head child, Virgil's here to do all the work."
"While you're a slow moving plague that was remedied and cured ages ago,"
"I'm a Shotgun. Click, boom."
"Which means I'm leagues and leagues ahead of everyone else on this roster, ahead of you. That's simple fact. It's that simple fact Hulu, that makes me snipe shots towards Gunner, it's that simple fact that makes me EXPECT a title shot. You act as if after one match that I feel I'm owed a match, as if I want it handed to me on a silver platter, as if I don't expect to work for it, or earn it. Not even close. I've never even once spoke of a challenge, not even offered my hand in exhibition, I spoke instead of inedibility. Look around you Hulu, David Fraggle is a worthless monotone run on sentence, Vice Squad and BCB are mere tag teams, and of the new wave of talent we have a man dressed as a fictional fairy tale, a girl fighting through men, and some super hero pansy. I'm not asking for the title shot, the main event, I'm merely waiting for it. It's a matter of time."
"Oh and I almost forgot you, a man talking down about this companies World Title in such a manner, as if it's below you."
"A strap? a Belt? Is that what you see? Gold and leather taped together as a trophy?"
"Just get out. The more you talk the more obvious to me you're not even a wrestler, you are not a competitor, you were not bred for competition. We are in an industry where man topples man, we wage battle on a intellectual and physical scale, we do things here for sport, we determine who amongst us is the BEST. That's what the fucking belt represents, and if you can't find it in your life as a god over there, on your mighty throne of faggotry, then allow me to show you the door via 2 round house kicks and the most perfectly crafter Half-Nelson Suplex man has yet seen."
"It's with that in mind, that your largest argument falls flat. I'm not afraid to lose. Losing doesn't deny me my life style, it does not rip from me my purpose or my goal. Losing will not cripple my ego, it will not humble me. I've lost before Hulu, it's not a foreign concept. I'm just not losing to you. I will not lose to you, because while you are more concerned with your semantics, I'm concerned with my technique and form. While you're busy insulting title belts, I'm busy prepping, preparing myself to achieve it, showcase it. While you're poking at the trivial and obvious fucking manner in which I present myself to the people, you're trying to figure out how to work the word 'scurvy' into a promo."
"So no, don't call me Virgil."
"Call me Better"
Rejoice.
"What an invoking question Hulu, have I ever 'heard' of the term impressive used to define the Black Plague? Short answer, no, I guess I haven't, well, not personally. I also haven't 'heard' someone say the great wall of china referred to as a buncha' rock or The CN Tower as a concrete construction of man."
"But hey, if you wanna argue semantics, I suggest you take the time to, uhh, well, stick it up your ass, If you don't mind that is. Otherwise, if you have intentions of saying something relevant, I'll be right here in obscene possibility that you'll utter something with substance."
-I lean on the podium, oozing a sense of complacency-
"However, to humor you, 'Impressive' Is a term used to define something awe-inspiring, remarkable, or to use a more blunt definition, something leaving an 'impression.' The Black Plague, by pure fact you use it to humorously define yourself while trying to implant some sort of eerie tone through something else's credit than your own actual fucking work, obviously means it left an impression, right? Perhaps, if I were to be so bold as to use a synonym for the general thought, I might want to coin the ever so original phrase that the Black Plague was 'Impressive.'"
"Ugh.... Fucking dumbass."
-I strike a irritated and irked pose, shaking my head at the prospect of having to elaborate on this. I continue regardless.-
" I think you'll find, kind sir, that if we are to go back those many moons, the impression left behind by your 'Black plague,' was neither awe-inspiring, nor remarkable, IN FACT, I'd dare to gamble that it failed to even leave an 'impression.' Not the type to simply state it, I'll ask you why that is Hulu. Why was your debut dismal? Maybe, just maybe, and please try to stick with me here and tell me if this sounds familiar, it's because you managed to defeat a man who is worse, but only slightly, than a concession stand worker.'"
-Shrug-
" Through your ineptitude, your failing intellect, and your inability to grasp onto a solid argument, you decided to break down, not me, not my skill, not my ability, but the ability of those who I utterly decimated. Perhaps in one of your many momentary mental flubs you just happened to forget one of those men you shat on, was the man YOU beat. Don't get me wrong, your statement doesn't have a flaw, because if you can beat him, there is no defense I could ever muster for his skill, but perhaps it was not in your best interest to refer to the only accomplishment you had last week, as a pathetic weak morsel of a wrestler. It just isn't consistent, it's not ideal, or even fucking smart to start claiming your 'reign of terror' by the name 'Black Plague' if you're going to debut it in THAT manner. "
"Good Job selling your potential future infectious domination jackass."
-/sarcasm-
"Me on the other hand? I removed 4 different men from this roster, and if we took a gander, a listen, we would find me referring to those men as garbage, trash, and useless this last Meltdown. That is, after all, why I targeted them. I did so, not to defame or bury my revolution as you've done yours, I did it as an offering. I showcased and displayed positive change, the removal of those not worthy to wrestle in the same ring as me. But hey, if you want be a redundant echo of me, telling these people how those men sucked, then go on ahead."
"I'm a natural born Leader after all. A bred Champion. A pure wrestler. It's understandable you'd want to be like me."
"Whoops, there goes my politicking again."
-A greasy smirk writhes its way up my face.-
"I digress, the point I made before, and I'll make again, is this idea you have where you think you can go around with empty threats. See, you can talk, and you can talk, and you can make promises, you can tell everyone around here what you are, what your capable of, you can fly your campaign slogan of "Black Plague" on every promotional video, every entrance theme, every interview, and nestle it into every catchphrase, but at the end of the fucking day man, all you've given us as a god damn IOU for relevancy."
"What makes you think I'm going to let you get away with that?"
"That's not good enough, it's not what the people deserve, not what management needs, not what this industry requires. You can stand there and keep telling us something is going to happen all you want, go right ahead. Keep lying to us, keep talking about meaningless things, building a platform underneath you for attention."
"Keep giving us those campaign promises."
-Wink-
"And as you do that, keep falling back on your safety net, when people start asking where, where is it, when will it be? Keep telling them it's not a race, that all things come in time. Tell them that you're a slow moving infection, boring us with the anticipation of the inevitability. No, please, Hulu take your time, I know it's hard to actually DO something, why do it today when you can do it tomorrow? Don't strain yourself. I understand the burden of being interesting, the heavy load of spectacle. Rest your weary head child, Virgil's here to do all the work."
"While you're a slow moving plague that was remedied and cured ages ago,"
"I'm a Shotgun. Click, boom."
"Which means I'm leagues and leagues ahead of everyone else on this roster, ahead of you. That's simple fact. It's that simple fact Hulu, that makes me snipe shots towards Gunner, it's that simple fact that makes me EXPECT a title shot. You act as if after one match that I feel I'm owed a match, as if I want it handed to me on a silver platter, as if I don't expect to work for it, or earn it. Not even close. I've never even once spoke of a challenge, not even offered my hand in exhibition, I spoke instead of inedibility. Look around you Hulu, David Fraggle is a worthless monotone run on sentence, Vice Squad and BCB are mere tag teams, and of the new wave of talent we have a man dressed as a fictional fairy tale, a girl fighting through men, and some super hero pansy. I'm not asking for the title shot, the main event, I'm merely waiting for it. It's a matter of time."
"Oh and I almost forgot you, a man talking down about this companies World Title in such a manner, as if it's below you."
"A strap? a Belt? Is that what you see? Gold and leather taped together as a trophy?"
"Just get out. The more you talk the more obvious to me you're not even a wrestler, you are not a competitor, you were not bred for competition. We are in an industry where man topples man, we wage battle on a intellectual and physical scale, we do things here for sport, we determine who amongst us is the BEST. That's what the fucking belt represents, and if you can't find it in your life as a god over there, on your mighty throne of faggotry, then allow me to show you the door via 2 round house kicks and the most perfectly crafter Half-Nelson Suplex man has yet seen."
"It's with that in mind, that your largest argument falls flat. I'm not afraid to lose. Losing doesn't deny me my life style, it does not rip from me my purpose or my goal. Losing will not cripple my ego, it will not humble me. I've lost before Hulu, it's not a foreign concept. I'm just not losing to you. I will not lose to you, because while you are more concerned with your semantics, I'm concerned with my technique and form. While you're busy insulting title belts, I'm busy prepping, preparing myself to achieve it, showcase it. While you're poking at the trivial and obvious fucking manner in which I present myself to the people, you're trying to figure out how to work the word 'scurvy' into a promo."
"So no, don't call me Virgil."
"Call me Better"
Rejoice.